Saturday, April 29, 2006

All Set

A few years ago I had an epiphany of sorts, it was more of a self discovery. I was lying in bed and realized that for a large portion of my life I had been setting myself up for disappointment. I would think that if something were different then I would be all set. I think it really started at the end of college. I would think "man if I made as much as that guy I would be all set" or "once we move we'll be all set","when I start this job we'll be good to go". The problem is that it is never true. If I could lose 20 pounds I would be in good shape.

Life goes on and eventually you make the same as that other guy and you find yourself in the same situation as when you made less. You don't have more money in the bank, you have just found more ways to spend the "extra". Eventually you realize that you are making more and things are not as cushy as you thought they would be. Maybe you even lose that 20 pounds and then realize you aren't happy there either. All of this leads to major disappointment. I then thought that if I just stopped thinking that one thing was going to make all the difference, that if I stopped hinging my happiness on this one thing (whatever it be), that I would no longer suffer this disappointment. If I would stop saying "if this or that then we'll be all set", then I would be better off.

I bet a lot of people, if they stopped to think about it, would find themselves using the all set theory. It is such a viscous cycle because you are never living in the moment, never allowing yourself to be happy in the present. It's not to say you shouldn't have goals, I'm saying you shouldn't postpone your happiness until the goals are met. You shouldn't suspend today's enjoyment for tomorrows hope.

After coming to this realization I caught myself more times than I can count implementing this all set mentality. It is a very hard practice to break and still to this day I catch myself doing it. The irony is, once I thought of the theory I thought I was all set...

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